SBI + Request
Situation: when/where. Behaviour: the specific observed action. Impact: effect on the work, user or team. Request: the desired change and support. Keep the conversation about observable behaviour rather than turning one event into a character judgment.
Receive feedback without immediate defence
Pause, thank the person, ask for one clarification and separate the facts from your first emotional reaction. If needed, ask for time to reflect and return with a concrete response.
Prepare difficult conversations
Define the useful outcome, collect facts, prepare one empathy sentence, use behaviour-focused language and end with a specific next step or review date. Avoid inventing motives you cannot know.
Leadership shows in repeated habits
Model punctuality and follow-through. Give credit publicly; correct privately where appropriate. Invite perspectives, avoid humiliation, normalize learning from small failures, and use regular retrospectives to turn mistakes into system learning.
Clarify responsibility
The recovered draft suggests RACI as one tool: Responsible, Accountable, Consulted, Informed. Use it only where useful. The deeper principle is simple: people should know who owns the outcome, who decides, who contributes, and who needs the update.
Reflection
Questions to sit with
- Am I describing behaviour, or attacking identity?
- What request would make the feedback actionable?
- Who is accountable for the outcome after this conversation?